obama booty

Obama Had a Booty, the Secret to His Success

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”-Winston Churchill

The booty is the only reason I can think of why so many people around the world loved him in 2008.  If only we could just the worth of a President by the shape of their behind, surely then Teyana Taylor would be our next President.

You just have to look back at it and laugh.  At the time I was a bit confused by this otherworldly belief that Obama would by Gandhi reincarnated for the American people. I just failed to see the appeal.  Perhaps it’s the white-supremacists turned neo-nazi self-hating racist in me that caused me to be so blind.

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But really, y’all read this little love letter and tell me you’re not the least bit embarrassed by the amount of love some media head had for Barrack Obama.

From Mark Morford at SF Gate circa just prior to the 2008 elections:

Barack Obama isn’t really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

This is what I find myself offering up more and more in response to the whiners and the frowners and to those with broken or sadly dysfunctional karmic antennae – or no antennae at all – to all those who just don’t understand and maybe even actively recoil against all this chatter about Obama’s aura and feel and MLK/JFK-like vibe…

Dismiss it all you like, but I’ve heard from far too many enormously smart, wise, spiritually attuned people who’ve been intuitively blown away by Obama’s presence – not speeches, not policies, but sheer presence – to say it’s just a clever marketing ploy, a slick gambit carefully orchestrated by hotshot campaign organizers who, once Obama gets into office, will suddenly turn from perky optimists to vile soul-sucking lobbyist whores, with Obama as their suddenly evil, cackling overlord.

Here’s where it gets gooey. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul…

Now, Obama. The next step. Another try. And perhaps, as Bush laid waste to the land and embarrassed the country and pummeled our national spirit into disenchanted pulp and yet ironically, in so doing has helped set the stage for an even larger and more fascinating evolutionary burp, we are finally truly ready for another Lightworker to step up.

….

Don’t buy any of it? Think that’s all a bunch of tofu-sucking New Agey bulls– and Obama is really a dangerously elitist political salesman whose inexperience will lead us further into darkness because, when you’re talking national politics, nothing, really, ever changes? I understand. I get it. I often believe it myself.

Not this time.

Thanks Mark!  And should we all dry hump his leg as well?  Really, as much as I’m appreciative of Donald Trump I don’t think I would ever be comfortable describing the man like he’s my boyfriend and Messiah all wrapped into one.

Never doubt the power of the booty

Harvey Weinstein couldn’t take the allure and turned into a psycho-predator, Bill Clinton has always loved dat ass (much to the chagrin of the countless women he’s been accused of sexually assaulting), hell one has to look no further than Hollywood to see their twisted obsession.

I can’t possibly blame these men for falling prey to something the rest of America loves!  It can’t possibly be their fault, they came of age in a world that didn’t have Kim Kardashian’s ass to aspire to.  It is only natural that they would take one look and lose all control.  When we talk of responsibility, surely we should ask the women that were assaulted why they felt the need to drive such noble men to distraction?

The rest of the world is guilty of this as well.  America took one look at Obama’s backside and well, we all know how that turned out.

Toni Morrison too fell for the booty too:

In thinking carefully about the strengths of the candidates, I stunned myself when I came to the following conclusion: that in addition to keen intelligence, integrity and a rare authenticity, you exhibit something that has nothing to do with age, experience, race or gender and something I don’t see in other candidates. That something is a creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom. It is too bad if we associate it only with gray hair and old age. Or if we call searing vision naivete. Or if we believe cunning is insight. Or if we settle for finessing cures tailored for each ravaged tree in the forest while ignoring the poisonous landscape that feeds and surrounds it. Wisdom is a gift; you can’t train for it, inherit it, learn it in a class, or earn it in the workplace–that access can foster the acquisition of knowledge, but not wisdom.

When, I wondered, was the last time this country was guided by such a leader? Someone whose moral center was un-embargoed? Someone with courage instead of mere ambition? Someone who truly thinks of his country’s citizens as “we,” not “they”? Someone who understands what it will take to help America realize the virtues it fancies about itself, what it desperately needs to become in the world?

Sure Toni, we can read between the lines.

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I have seen the light

After doing all this research and carefully looking over 44’s behind, I now see what I didn’t see before.  Look for me on Tumblr under 4theLuvofObamaBooty.

Perhaps I’m wrong and this article turns out to be a big embarrassment.  Maybe it wasn’t Obama’s shapely behind, it could just be his gigantic smile that blinded the world.  We may never know why America fell under the charm of a so obviously disingenuous man.

Obama laughing