A part of me that has always been shy with my opinions. I love thinking theoretically but am at loath to share those theories. The source of torment for me comes because I’ve always been a fighter. Suspended from school multiple times, kicked out of classrooms for arguing with teachers. I’ll fight for pride and for vanity, for when I think I’m right and when I think they’re wrong. I believe that in my heart I love to share my ideas, it is why I’m a fighter. But I blame school for fostering that hesitancy.
The problems with school today is that they teach us to doubt ourselves. We’re taught to look to authority for our opinions. Keep your thoughts to yourself unless backed by someone artificially superior to yourself. Teaching to take some standardized test and banal memorization with absolutely no grounding in context is all our students have to look forward to in school.
The only way I break out of this shell was to push myself out of this fear of expression and put myself out there. I did this with people who completely disagreed with me, tour me down and called me stupid. But once done I found that it wan’t that bad. I got stronger and I cared less about what others thought. I stopped looking for the approval of others before I spoke.
For the majority of my life I was in some school program. I’m greatful for my education but I left school emerging from a bubble half a person. It doesn’t half to be that way. Instead of giving out papers teachers could assign each student a blog. Challenge them to put their work out there for more than just their teachers eyes while simultaneously learning how to market a website.
It wasn’t until I became a whole person that I became truly happy. Not by artificially tearing people down, but by finding out what I believe in and fighting for it. To all those struggling kids, there is happiness but it comes at a price. You have to break out of the mold, see the matrix as some artificial design being put on you. It is only through this that you’ll become your full self.
P. S. On the plus side our generation really has no choice. Jobs are hard to come by so we have to become our own boss or we have to make ourselves more valuable to employers so they can’t treat us like they own us.
I love everybody in the struggle and I love all my people. If you have experienced something similar let me know!